Charles Dickens
Translated into Gay by Gaywit.com
Marley was dead: to begin with, Mary. There is no doubt whatever about that, Mary. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner, Mary . Scrooge signed it, Mary . And Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to, Mary . Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail, Mary.
Mind, Mary! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail, Mary. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade, Mary. But the wisdom of our ancestors is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for, Mary . You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as dead as a door-nail, Mary.